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Esau - what REALLY happened
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Jacob and Esau - the Genesis story
(as diagnosed by another hairy guy)
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It seems Rebekah's twin pregnancy was not easy. The phrase 'the babies jostled each other within her' (Gn 25:22), is hard to put into medical terminology but suggests unusually violent foetal movements. This foresaw the momentous future conflict between Esau and Jacob- and their descendants (Gn 25:23). In the Bible narrative, God's involvement with his people starts, not at birth,but before. Interestingly, this perspective is supported by advances in fetal physiology, emphasising the importance of intrauterine
events in development. At birth the babies' appearances were very different. Esau was described as both 'red' and 'hairy', hence to his biblical names of 'Esau' (hairy) and 'Edom' (red). A marked rubor of the skin at birth usually indicates polycythaemia and may be a useful clinical sign. Twin-to-twin transfusion occurs due to an abnormal placental vascular connection, resulting in one twin losing blood cells into
the other's circulation. This can produce anaemia in the donor and polycythaemia in the recipient. However, this phenomenon only occurs in identical twins. From the biblical evidence it seems unlikely that Jacob and Esau were monozygotic; not only were their appearances (both at birth and in adult life) but their personalities were constantly at odds (Gn 25:27-28).

The other common cause of polycythaemia at birth is placental failure leading to chronic mild foetal hypoxia. This causes excess erythropoeitin release and increased red cell production in the bone marrow. A degree of placental failure is a common in twin pregnancy.

Finally, Esau's name may instead have described his hair colour. Perhaps, then as now, a fiery temperament and gingerappearance were seen as related. Whatever the explanation, in God's providence the differences between Esau and Jacob symbolised an ultimate and mysterious divide in God's covenant love. As both the prophet Malachi and the apostle Paul spelt out, 'Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.' 
(Mal 1:2,3; Rom 9:10-16)
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Now, did Esau get a bum rap? you betcha!
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Rebecca and Jacob conspire to trick Isaac into blessing her favorite son, even though he is the
         younger. Bill Moyers says: "It could be a Greek tragedy, or it could be a prime-time soap opera. But this story is from a text sacred to great religions and the deceit means that one son
  instead of the other becomes the founder of a great nation. The mother justifies the trickery
because she has learned from a prophecy that her favorite son is the favorite of God, too, and
she's determined to be the instrument by which the divine plan unfolds, no matter what it means
to her husband, her other son, or their family values." 
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Not only that, but Esau had destiny against him. The brothers would struggle with each other, but the outcome was foreordained. The younger would prevail. The Jacob cycle finds similiarity with the Abraham cycle in such sibling rivalry;. . . remember Ishmael and Isaac. In the present case the cycle is driven by Jacob's determination not to let Esau inherit. In two memorable accounts, Jacob takes first the
      birthright (25:27-34) away from Esau and then the blessing (27). 
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Esau's perspective on Genesis 27:46-28:9

I don't understand why my parents never said anything to me about their not liking Judith and Basemath because they were Hittite. If I'd known, I never would have married them -- though on the other hand, that kind of bigotry is so hateful. Anyway, as soon as I learned that they'd sent Jacob to marry one of our mother's nieces, to avoid his marrying a Canaanite woman, I thought I'd better try to make up for hurting their feelings. I wouldn't send Judith and Basemath away, of course, but I did go to uncle Ishmael and married my cousin Machalath.   What more can a guy do???
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The modern version
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Isaac was spending his golden years in a condo tent on the sunny beaches of the southern Negev Desert. His eyes  were going dim and he forgot to change the bulb.  "Esau, Yo Esau, I'm hungry." "What can I get you, Pops?" "I'd like some fresh venison medium rare, with a side order of chips, steamed broccoli and lemon mousse for dessert." "What's wrong with a Big Mac?" asked Esau. "Or a nice omelette?." "Taketh thy Bow, tuck it into thy hood and go to the forest where you Will but beware of the Sheriff's men. If it finds favor in mine eyes, I shall be merry and bless you. If not, well..." 

 Rebecca had her ear glued to the keyhole of the tent flap which can be pretty sticky. Quickly she rushed to Jacob's tent. "Jacob! Come down right now!!!" "Oh, Ma, I'm up to Stage 6 in God-Quest 8," for Jacob was a bookworm and a computer nerd. Jacob dwelt within the tents and was very pale and lousy at sports.  "Get down this instant and put a leg of mutton in the microwave, while I make the fixins." Muttering to herself, Rebecca said, "I don't know what is wrong with that boy." While cooking, she did repeateth to Jacob Isaac's conversation. "Shoot - this is the pits: Esau is big and hairy; I don't even shave." 

 "Don't worry - bring me a large roll of sandpaper and some glue and I'll take care of the rest." Jacob brought her the sand paper and she did begin to shmear his arms and his neck. "This is going to hurt me more than you" she promised. "Why don't I believe you" said Jacob. She placed a large swath of sandpaper over the glue. "Just make sure you don't bump into the furniture or you will take off all the paint!" warned Rebecca as she surveyed her handiwork. "Now all you need is some finishing touches. Bring me some toilet water." Jacob went into her tent and duly brought a bottle of cologne. "No dummy I meant toilet water!" 

 Jacob entered Isaac's tent. "My what a big scent you have" hinted Isaac. "The better to please you father dear," replied Jacob. Isaac was going to question him more but the smell of the meat was verily good, and he did wolf it down. "That was finger-lickin' good" said Isaac. "Now you shall receive your blessing." And Jacob was blessed and did become executor of the will. 

 Esau returned and was sorely vexed and even angry. "This is the second time he has cheated me" he cried. "When was the first?" inquired Isaac in dismay. "When we were playing Hearts" was the reply. And Isaac did rejoice in his heart for though Jacob may be a nerd, surely this son isn't playing with a full deck. Though just to be safe he decided to send Jacob to Cincinnati. 
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Any other hairy guys feeling gipped, email
trajan@coldmail.com


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